Here’s a question: what do you do when you have a close friend that you want to be more than friends with?
If you tell the person you like them you risk losing your friend if they don’t feel the same way – plus you also have to face the mega embarrassment of being rejected.
They (the experts) always say your significant other should be your best friend and I couldn’t agree more.
But what happens if the relationship fizzles – can you really go back to being just friends?
Let’s look at Ross and Rachel from NBC’s hit sitcom Friends. Ross had a crush in high school on his younger sister’s best friend Rachel. Unbeknownst to Rachel, of course, its not until years later when they reconnect and Ross goes to China and comes back with a new girlfriend that Rachel realizes that she has a crush on him.
So they risk it all and get together and life couldn’t be any better until they break up… now because this a TV show we never really see just how awkward it must have been for the rest of the gang to hang around each other after the break up.
But if this was a real life situation – each of the friends would have had to coordinate schedules to make sure Ross and Rachel weren’t in the same room at the same time.
So I would like to take the time to look at the pros and cons of dating a friend.
Pros:
You get to skip the whole awkward getting to know you phase
They know all your likes and dislikes
You have the same group of friends
They know your flaws
Cons:
If the relationship fails – your friendship can too
Family and Mutual friends can become divided
Having to watch them re-enter the dating world
I may be missing some crucial pros or cons … but these are what some of my co-workers could come up with on the fly when I posed the question to them.
So what are your thoughts… can your best friend be your best girl or boy friend?
These are just the thoughts of a 20-somethinger ...
please feel free to leave a comment
Afua (Uh-fee-yah) News Producer
Comments (4)
I think you should confess and if they're your real friend, they'll tell you thier truth without offending. You should be able to accept whatever response you get and continue to be friends...or else it was just fake from the beginning. If that doesn't work...sorry!!!
Posted by Patrise Washington | September 12, 2008 7:08 AM
Posted on September 12, 2008 07:08
Friends. Lovers. As great as God made us were are always being bound by such little insignificant things, words. What we should really be concerned about is what you believe. If you believe that you love a person whatever you called them before, friend or otherwise, is irrelevant. But we are human and we are vain. We would rather preserve our reputation and comfort, than risk potential emotional distress by using those things we are all too afraid of called words to convey your souls desire. It has been said that love conquers all. So take the word LOVE put it in your own WORDS and when someone fits your definition, read it, write it, and spell it everyday with them. As useless as words are all other words are secondary to one, L-O-V-E, the word FRIEND included. Take my WORD for it. LOL.
P.S. if you had any type of genuine friendship you've probably been loving each other all along and Love by any other word is still love.
Posted by Tunde Ogunronbi | September 12, 2008 7:07 AM
Posted on September 12, 2008 07:07
I believe that love is a desirable complication. Yes we all want love but for most, love lets us down. It is so hard to find friends these days. For some, family members can even be their worst enemies. Considering, I believe that a good friend should remain a good friend only! I mean.... how do you truly grow to love a person that's your friend? Personally, I know how to detect love and its possibilities. By this, I mean: I know if it is possible to love someone that I'm seeing or if I need to through them in the friend category. Sex, love and intimacy is complicated and should be avoided if you are wanting a friend. Or maybe that was never your friend. Maybe you always loved that person from the start and just didn't want to admit it (We all lie to ourselves sometimes)! Or maybe you were reluctant due to possible disappointment or blindness. Just an opinion!
Posted by Lena Nicole | September 12, 2008 7:06 AM
Posted on September 12, 2008 07:06
wow!
I just professed my love to my best friend (girl) last night at a sonic burger. Wish it would have come up at a nicer place like a park or ....shit maybe a bedroom. But the location was not the issue. The issue was that I have spent a year with this girl leading her to believe that I'm cool with being in the friend zone forever, when in actuality I got so much love for her. I have love for her to the point where at this moment in my life I am incapable of dating.
The confession was hard, and it was embarrassing too. I was all like " Yeah uh, I uh, have something to uh tell you....but its going to be hard to say...well....uh anyway..." i felt super weak you know? But the point is, you can't worry about the rejection aspect of it. that's selfish. If you love someone...tell them. straight up. Let them know. worst case scenario: you end up having a good friend for a lifetime....is that so bad?
Posted by Chris Mathirn | September 12, 2008 7:05 AM
Posted on September 12, 2008 07:05