It's almost as certain as death and taxes.

It's jury duty, a civic duty they say, and tell the truth.......that duty has never ranked too high on your "to do" list.

So here are some sure fire ways to get off, taken from actual interviews with potential jurors this week behind the closed doors of Judge Vincent Gaughan's rear chambers.

Read them once, read them twice, whatever you do- commit them to memory. They're direct routes to dismissal.

1) You know too much
Familiarity with the subject matter is deadly to both defense and prosecution teams alike. This young lady could choose the express delivery option back to her position at the post office: "I know R Kelly is the Pied Piper," she responded when asked what she knows about the R & B singer's music. Just for emphasis, the expert knew to add: "He and Jay-Z don't get along."
Looks like attorneys will be getting along without her.

2) You know too little
This man never had a chance, but added levity at the end of another long day. "R Kelly might have led the Taliban to attacking the U.S. on 9/11 but you can't prove it," he offered near the top of his questioning.
He's outta here.

3) You're a know it all
In a fit of honesty, one tough guy blurted, "better lawyers will go where the money is, the others go to the state." Ace prosecutor Shauna Bolliker blushed, apparently prompting Slick to add, "no offense to you guys."
Not real smooth, but he's sailing home.

4) You don't know what you know
Sometimes your confusion can make others uncomfortable. When asked his opinion on child porn, one member of the jury pool pondered, "sometimes the age difference, it gets kind of muddy when it comes to what's right or what's wrong........like when they're in love."
He now has plenty of time to think that one through.

5) You don't know when to shut up
One woman in her late 60's regarding her opinion on pornography: "I know men like it. I know when I got married my husband (now 76) liked it."
Ahem, next.

6) You know an attorney
One woman wrote the following on her questionnaire: "I believe Mr. Kelly is guilty of the charges due to what I have read in the paper, and the fact that he was indicted by a grand jury further validates my belief."
Who came up with that????

7) You know God
Claim you're a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses. It's an automatic out, as the religion prevents members from passing judgement.

More to come after today's proceedings. Who knows what can happen.

Randi Belisomo, CLTV reporter at the R, Kelly trial