The Oscar curtain has gone down & Mickey Rourke's career is officially still not validated. So what right...Here's our cliff notes version of the awards and everything everyone will be talking about around the water cooler Monday morning.
7 O'Clock Hour:
7:30 - Show opens to a pretty slick looking set...
7:32 - Hugh Jackman makes first recession joke, everyone in New Zealand is enraged.
7:34 - Opening number proves Jackman can dance & sing. We're happy with the choice.
7:38 - We find out Mickey Rourke stole Mike Tyson's front tooth.
7:43 - Best supporting actress winners come out to introduce nominees.. we find out Goldie Hawn is still alive.
7:47 - Penelope Cruz wins for best supporting actress... No surprise there.
The rest of the grueling 3 hour show after the jump...
8 O'Clock Hour:
8:01 - Slumdog wins best adapted screenplay.
8:05 - Space Chimps is featured in the 2008 Animation Yearbook... People around the world ask: "What the hell is Space Chimps?"
8:09 - La Maison en Petits Cubes wins best animated short. The nights first Styx reference is dropped with "Domo Arigato Mr.Roboto."
8:31 - We see Jackman again and think "it's real magic." He's setting a record for smallest amount of on screen time by a host.
8:32 - Ben Stiller impersonates Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman, while Natalie Portman looks better than ever.
8:52 - Hugh Jackman actually sings during his second musical number, Beyonce... not so much, what a mismatched couple. While Zac Effron and Vanessa Hudgens bring the tweens to full attention with songs they have never heard.
9 O'Clock Hour
9:03 - Best Supporting Actor category is presented and we get Christopher WALKEN! We need more Cowbell!
9:07 - Heath Ledger wins best supporting for his performance in The Dark Knight. Only the second posthumous Oscar to ever be awarded.
9:22 - Tom Cruise does a Kimmel promo asking Jimmy to save his cat. We all know Cruise hearts the kitties.
9:25 - Speaking of Scientology, Will Smith comes out of the floor to present an award.
9:44 - Jerry Lewis receives the humanitarian award. Keeps his acceptance short & sweet.
9:55 - A.R. Rahman wins the Oscar for best score and then performs. What doesn't the guy do. JAI HO!
10 O'Clock Hour:
10:01 - Rahman wins again, accepts & then makes a B-line for backstage. When nature calls...
10:11 - Queen Latifah sings the song over the "In Memoriam"... Heath Ledger is not included. WTF?
10:20 - Danny Boyle wins his 1st Oscar for best director. Marcus Leshock cries in his home.
10:27 - Actress in a leading role goes to Kate Winslet. She deserves it, but couldn't we give another award to Halle Berry? She looks amazing!
10:38 - Sean Penn wins the Oscar for actor in a lead role. Starts acceptance speech with... "You commie, homo loving sons of guns." He then shouts out Mickey Rourke so he doesn't get beat up.
10:52 - Slumdog Millionaire wins best picture. The largest crowd ever accepts the award. As a result Bollywood is the new green in 2009.
Other Facts & Figures:
Tom Cruise Ex's Academy Awards = 2 / Tom Cruise = 0
Recession jokes: 2
Wolverine plugs: 1
Steroid jokes: 1
Comments (1)
Wow, Metromix is hard to please. To add to the "Where was Heath Ledger" note - they only feature the people who died AFTER last year's telecast. Heath died BEFORE last year's show and was featured in last year's montage.
Other than that, keep up the bad attitude and cynicism, Metromix. As for me crying in my home, I watched the show with Nick Digilio at WGN Radio. At least I had someone to hold me.
Posted by Marcus Leshock | February 23, 2009 7:03 AM
Posted on February 23, 2009 07:03