THE SHOW

Whitney Houston is still crazy. She presented the night's first award and received a standing ovation. You could feel that most of the crowd was hoping to see the start of a comeback. Then, she spoke. She still stammers and seems lost in a daze. It's a shame, considering she has one of the best vocal instruments of all time.

Al Green is still the man. Justin Timberlake did his best to keep up with the legend during their duet of "Let's Stay Together." Big Al rocked it tonight.

Chris Martin is sweaty. He was all over the stage tonight performing "Viva La Vida" alongside his Coldplay bandmates. His solo duet with Jay-Z during "Lost" was even better. But someone get the guy a handkerchief for crying out loud!

Carrie Underwood can sing. She also has very long, skinny legs - something I noticed while she sang her number about "What have I done? I don't even know his last name!" Yee-haw!

Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift are BFF's. They sang a duet to Taylor's hit "Fifteen," about something they know all too well - what it's like to be a freshman in a normal kid's high school. If I didn't love "Hannah Montana" so much, I'd think Miley wasn't a very good singer after watching this performance. It wasn't her best night.

Jennifer Hudson choked up while singing "You Pulled Me Through." Your heart has to go out to her, Jennifer Hudson showed some real emotion while belting this one out. She has to be one of the strongest people alive, to be able to stand up there and sing something like this after so many of her close family members were taken from her - it was nothing short of inspirational.

Steve Wonder still has it - even while performing with The Jonas Brothers! You'd think this pairing wouldn't work, but it turned out to be one of the most exciting performances of the night. I'm still not too sure about the Brothers Jonas, but they certainly know how to work a room. A few more performances like this and I actually might be sold on them.

Katy Perry wears fruit - and she likes it! She came down from the rafters in a giant banana, alongside apples, strawberries, and I think a peach. She was also wearing a dress that had fruit all over it. The performance was very awkward - she ran around the stage without moving her arms. She even drew imaginary hearts with her hands while singing about being in love. Fruity, indeed.

Kenny Chesney and Morgan Freeman are friends. That's what Morgan said while introducing him. I'd love to be at that barbecue - great ribs, great narration.

That's great, Scott, but when are we gonna see the Wolf?! Oh.....sorry.....I flipped over to "Teen Wolf" on WGN for a second. Back to work.

The Rap Pack took us back before technicolor. Kanye West, Jay-Z, T.I. and Lil Wayne took the stage with a VERY pregnant M.I.A. Today was her due date! I'd be nervous if I was in the front row during that performance!

Paul McCartney is still alive. The way everyone spoke about him, you'd think he was hiding under a rock for 30 years. He performed a few hits with the Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl at drums, but it was nothing unusual. But even after all these years, Paul still grabs the most attention in a very large room. Cheerio!

The "utterly brilliant" (thanks, Gwyneth) Radiohead went to college. They performed "15 Steps" with the USC Marching Band. Watching Thom Yorke perform, I thought about an alien coming to Earth for the first time. He turns on a television, and his first glimpse of humanity is Thom Yorke performing at the Grammys. Does he leave Earth forever - or feel more at home?

Neil Diamond should never be left alone with children. I'm sorry, I'm sure he's a nice guy, but is he weird on stage or what? On an unrelated note, "Sweet Caroline" needs to be packed into a time capsule - to be opened in the year NEVER! Heyoooooo!

THE WINNERS

Best R&B Album - Jennifer Hudson "Jennifer Hudson"

She looked absolutely stunning as she accepted this award, and she thanks her family both here and in heaven. It was an emotional and much deserved award, it's a great album.

Best Country Performance by a Duo/Group with Vocals - Sugarland "Stay"

These two gave a great acceptance speech, especially when she thanked her mah-mah and Paul McCartney (about 8 times). Hilarious.

Song of the Year - Coldplay "Viva La Vida"

"Viva La Vida" is a fine song - but song of the year? It's not even the best song on that album. And does anybody else find it weird that they announce Song of the Year so early in the broadcast? It was the third Grammy given out. This just in - the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has announced the Best Picture Oscar will be given out on the Red Carpet.

Pop Collaboration with Vocals - Robert Plant & Allison Kraus "Rich Woman"

Dang, Robert Plant is old - yet still a stud in his leather jacket and see-through white undershirt. Maybe the best moment of the night was seeing Robert Plant accept a Grammy from Miley Cyrus. Hilarious!

Best Rock Album - Coldplay "Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends"

Seriously, best ROCK album? It's a good album, but nowhere near the ROCK album that Metallica's "Death Magnetic" is. Or even close to AC/DC's "Black Ice," which wasn't even nominated. Boo!

Best New Artist - Adele

Good for her! I thought this one was going to the Jonas Brothers for sure. Kanye West presented the award, which he had to remind us should have gone to him at one point. Classy!

Record of the Year - Robert Plant & Allison Krauss "Please Read The Letter"

I wanted to see a very pregnant M.I.A. get this one for "Paper Planes" (it was her due date today). Instead Robert Plant, the man who could probably be her great-grandfather, took home another Grammy. It's well deserved, though. Great song - sorry - record.

Best Male Pop Vocal - John Mayer "Say"

He said what he needed to say, that he enjoyed making music and thanks. That's all he had to say, about "Say."

Best Rap Album - Lil' Wayne "Tha Carter III"

He won a Grammy and dropped his pants. Seriously, his pants were completely off by the time he walked off the stage. Maybe I'm a homer, but Lupe Fiasco's "The Cool" is a much better album.

Album of the Year - Robert Plant & Allison Kraus "Raising Sand"

Wow, this was kind of a shock to me. I thought Grammy would continue pouring love on Coldplay.

"In the old days, we would have called this selling out," Plant said during the acceptance speech. "But I think it's a good way to spend a Sunday."

Indeed. We'll see all of our favorite musicians again next year, where they'll all win at least one Grammy. I think they even get Grammys in their gift bags. Good night!