THE GOOD

Seeing vintage “Randy Jackson in Journey” video. Nice flat top, dog! Never stop believing in the flat top. Never.

Sharon “I Heart Shitzus” Wilbur. She sounded pretty good, but Paula and Kara made out after Simon played with her dog’s ears. If you didn’t see the show, you’re probably pretty confused right now. She sang a Carpenters song and sung it well. We’ll see what she can do in later rounds.

Julissa “ah-hehehehhe” Veloz. Randy practically ruined this girl when he gave her a pulsing hug after he ticket to Hollywood. Simon was grunting along after the performance. She chose to sang Whitney Houston (Idol Fail Rule #1), but she didn’t sound TOO bad. Is that a tiara over your bangs or are you just happy to see me? Ah-hehehehhe.

Jasmine “Lady in Red” Murray. She’s got a great voice when she’s not trying too hard. Cute and commercial Simon said, as he brandied his pen all over his face. That’s the sign of a hit, she’ll go far in this contest.

Anne Marie “I Can’t Wait to Change My Name” Boskovich. She was so good, they made her do it twice. For some strange reason Simon banished her from the audition room. She came back wearing less clothing and was shipped right to Hollywood. But she has a great voice and will be around for weeks to come.

THE BAD

Joshua “I Look Like Justin Guarini” Ulloa. As if that was a good thing. This guy thought he was so much better than he actually is, plus his head does some weird twitch thing when he sings. But he’ll be twitching his way to Hollywood. Great job judges….can I go ahead and greenlight “From Joshua to…..

Dana “when you buy a hat like this, I bet you get a free bowl of soup” Moreno. It looks good on you, though. She brought Chaka Kahn to a new, more annoying level. Congratulations, you just sung yourself into a movie deal, but not to Hollywood.

The Lap Dance. It was bad enough we had to hear a contestant sing Minnie Ripperton again, but she was so obviously phony. The judges sat on each others’ laps during this one, and it was hilarious to see Ryan sitting on Kara’s while she bounced him up and down. Anybody else notice how quickly he sailed out of the room when he got the chance? Awkward, heeeeeyyyy!

THE VERDICT

Is the show getting too inside? I was wondering that during the opening, with Ryan and Simon bantering about Ryan not using his “show voice.” I thought about it again with all of the outtakes of Ryan on his golf cart. But I actually like this kind of vibe, “Idol” needs to stop taking itself so seriously and let the judges, host, and contestants have some fun for a change.

I can't wait to get these auditions over with and get to the good stuff. Didn't they promise us less of these episodes? Maybe I'm going nuts, but it's a little early for that. See you next week!