Dancing with the Stars 7: Something for Everyone?

With the Olympics packed up and out of Beijing, America awoke this morning looking for something to cheer about. Thankfully, ABC announced the new cast of their mega-hit show, "Dancing with the Stars" just in time.
In keeping with the show's tradition using the terms "dancing" and "stars" loosely, this season's cast is full of wash-ups looking for a comeback, athletes and no-names looking for a new fan base, and your token representative from AARP.

From Sports:
Who: Retired football player Warren Sapp, beach volleyball Olympian Misty May-Treanor (fresh off her win in Beijing) and a star of the Sydney games, sprinter Maurice Greene.
Odds: Pretty good. NFL players and Gold Medalists traditionally do very well on the show in both skill and fan base. (Emmett Smith, Apolo Ohno and Kristi Yamaguchi all took home the trophy.) Balance, athleticism, humility all go over very well.
Husband Tuning in Factor: 6

From Music
Who: Ex-boy-bander and current poster boy for publicly coming out of the closet Lance Bass and R&B singer Toni Braxton.
Odds: Good. Natural rhythm, general fitness and looking at home on stage and in sequins will come in handy.
Husband Tuning in Factor: 1 for Lance, 8 for Toni

From Reality TV
Who: Celebutant and tabloid star Kim Kardashian and celeb chef Rocco DiSpirito
Odds: Slim. While their good looks will get them through the first few rounds, an expected lack of work ethic (her - have you seen her show?) and willingness to have fun (him - he came off as pretty uptight in his short lived series) will have them basking in the Red Light of Doom before Halloween. Still, if Rocco's mom shows up in the audience, we could see a spike in support.
Husband Tuning In Factor 10 for Kim, 0 for Rocco.

For Comic Relief
Who: Cloris Leachman and Comedy Central-staple Jeffrey Ross
Odds: Low. We all like to applaud a senior citizen and a funny man giving it the old college try, but they don't last long in the ballroom. Last season, Adam Carolla was funny but his antics got old quickly, and it became painful to watch Wayne Newton after a few weeks....but maybe not as painful for him.
Husband Tuning In Factor 7.5 for both

The who?
Who: Cody Linley of Hannah Montana and Ted McGinley of um, Married with Children and the Love Boat? Really?
Odds: Not as bad as you'd think. Cody will have the Little Girl Vote - the equivalent of California, Texas and Florida - were this a real election and Ted may actual charm some ladies into voting.
Husband Tuning In Factor: 0 for both

The Rest
Who: Soap icon Susan Lucci and Internet icon Brooke Burke
Odds: Pretty low. Susan is tiny, so her partner should be able to wing her around the dance floor with considerable ease and she'll get the "I so relate to her" vote from her target demo. But the "guy with dimples and bicpes" usually wins them over eventually. Brooke will look good and if her infomercials are any indication, she should be in good shape. But Playboy on your resume will probably only impress that non-voting group known as "the one guy in the room."
Husband Tuning In Factor: 10 for Brooke, 4 for Susan


