FIRST, MY FAVORITE EXCHANGE OF THE NIGHT:

RYAN: Paula, the 80s a big year for you!
SIMON: A long, long time ago.
PAULA (to the girls): Why aren’t you wearing big hair and makeup?
SIMON: They’ll leave that to you.

That’s what we call “gold” folks.

NOW A FEW THOUGHTS ON THE PERFORMANCES:

ASIA’H EPPEERSON CAN’T ROLLERSKATE. And she can’t sing nearly as well as she thinks she can, either. Simon was right on with his Whitney comments. If you’re going to sing Whitney Houston on this show, you better change up the song. And what’s up with this chick pulling the microphone away from her mouth when she hits the big notes? Is she trying to cover something up?

KADY MALLOY JUST CAME OUT OF A BOX IN A TOY STORE. In her intros,she’s kinda interesting. On stage, she’s an entertainment black hole. I dare you to watch her performance of “Who Wants to Live Forever” and not think about all the things you have to do today/tomorrow. She’s boring.

AMANDA OVERMYER IS PAYING THE JUDGES. Randy called her “Great.” Paula said she was “amazing.” Simon called her “fantastic!” Fantastic? The only thing fantastic about her performance was the fact that you couldn’t hear most of it. The one thing I love about her, she looks like she’s about to murder the judges when they give her criticism. Simon said “Amanda, you can smile!” She looked at him like she wanted to punch him in the face. Awesome.

CARLY SMITHSON IS STILL THIS YEAR’S GINA GLOCKSON. It’s only a matter of time until America sides with the wholesome country chick accent, not the tattooed Irish chick accent.

KRISTY LEE COOK USED TO PRETEND SHE WAS A DOG? She even had her own DOG BOWL SHE USED TO DRINK OUT OF? And she had PET RATS that used to ride around on her back like they were “LITTLE JOCKEYS?” I thought she might be able to go one night without riding/mentioning a horse. Nope. Anyway, her performance was decent. But what about that back-story? Whoa….

RAMIELE “LITTLE LEGS” MALUBAY IS FUN TO WATCH. Did you hear the audience grumble when Ryan called her legs “little?” Hilarious. This chick’s got a pretty good voice, one that doesn’t match her personality or appearance whatsoever. I think she’s fun to watch.

AND WHAT ABOUT PAULA’S RAMBLING DURING THE JUDGING? At one point during Ramiele’s criticism she referred to the audience as “mutts,” then tried to reel them back in. Basically it took Paula more than a minute to say “You belong in the Top 12.” Gotta love LIVE TV folks!

BROOKE “CATHERINE KEENER” WHITE HAS SIMON IN THE BAG. Her performance of Pat Benatar’s “Love is a Battlefield” was fine, yet somewhat boring. Maybe even a little pretentious and predictable. For once Paula was right to contradict Simon and say the performance needed a big bang from the band towards the end. You’ve probably forgotten all about it now. She’ll be fine and head to the final rounds.

SAYESHA “HE TELLED THE TEACHER ON ME” MERCADO. After all of the ramblings and product placement, all the judges had time to say was “Good.” And that’s about all you can say about her performance of “I’m Saving All My Love For You.” It was very predictable, nothing to write home about, but she did a fine job.

THE WINNERS:

CARLY SMITHSON. So far she looks like the one to beat. She’s fun to watch, has a great voice, and seems like a real person. I’d love to see an American Idol with a tatted arm.

??????????????????. Again, there is no other girl that did an incredible job last night. Maybe Brooke White, but I found her sitting on the bottom of the stage without her guitar pretty lame. Maybe a bit self-indulgent. But she’s good.

THE LOSERS:

AMANDA OVERMYER. I’m sorry, I don’t get this. She’s going to need lots of that Vote For The Worst support to get through tonight.

KADY “BABES IN TOYLAND” MALLOY. I hope her bags are packed. Her taxi’s waiting. She’s confirmed her flight at the airport. She’s about to take a one-way-trip to a place we like to call “Home.” Later.

Alright folks, results tonight! Some bad news for you….I’m taking a little vacation to the South by Southwest Music and Film Festival down in Austin, Texas next week. So no recaps until March 11th. I’ve gotta get some real music in my system and shake some of this off. Until then……Leshock – out!