Let’s be honest. I’m a huge dork.
I was the kid who eagerly volunteered to erase the teacher’s chalk board after class in first and second and third grade…and—okay, okay there was that one time in seventh grade, but, really, there's no need to share all the dirty details. Ahem. Oh, and who can forget how dearly I cherished “Check Your Hair for Head Lice” day at school. Come on! Is it just me or did those pencil stick thingies the nurses used on your scalp not feel heaven-sent?? Mmmm… memories. In any case, now that you've gotten just an itty bitty idea of how much of huge freak I can be, it probably comes as no surprise that I’ve always secretly enjoyed going to the dentist, too. I know, I know… Don’t even get me started on how much I love doctors appointments... But, I digress.
So, the other morning I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. For the first time ever, I was not pumped to be there. Shockingly, not even the prospect of walking away with an awesome, sparkly pink toothbrush and fresh roll of cinnamon floss could get me excited. Maybe it was the 8 a.m. appointment? Or, maybe it was the fact that I hadn’t been to the dentist in a little over a year (I’m a bad girl, I know!) and thus feared I’d walk out with news of an evil cavity? Anyhow, as I lay there on the dentist’s chair-- keeping my eyes closed to prevent the obnoxiously bright examining light from blinding me-- I thought to myself: I wonder how many people furiously brush and floss their teeth right before their appointment? I, for one, had guiltily done so when I woke up that morning. As if an extra hard brush and floss-job the day of would appease the Tooth and Gum Gods (didn't know they existed? You really DO learn something new every day!) and convince them to keep me cavity-free for one more year… As though that last minute brushing would make up for all the nights I’ve woken up and sleepwalked my way into the kitchen to quell a late night cookie craving, only to fall back asleep--minutes later--without (don’t tell mom!) re-brushing… So, please--tell me I’m not alone. Has this thought ever occurred to you? P.S.—I don’t want to brag or anything, but despite being a bit of a slacker at times, this is the 25th year in a row that I’m [patting myself on the back] cavity free. It must be the good karma…
Comments (3)
Chewing utensils of TOMORROW, Bahar? Ummmm. I guess I'm glad you're saving those magnificent choppers of yours for all future consuming endeavors. Really, I am. But the question remains. What exactly are you eating with TODAY? How are you feeding yourself? Straws? Tubes? Juice fast? Only soft foods?
(And I'm with you. I love getting a teeth cleaning. Leaves my mouth feeling minty-fresh. Once you go plaque, you never go back. Ta(r) ta(r) for now.)
Posted by Nashville | November 9, 2007 11:47 PM
Posted on November 9, 2007 23:47
Dear Marcus,
I'm honored that I've inspired you to get your teeth cleaned. Give that tube of Colgate (and your dentist) a second chance. Your teeth are the chewing utensils of tomorrow. Save them today.
Posted by Bahar | November 7, 2007 2:55 PM
Posted on November 7, 2007 14:55
Sorry Bahar, I hate going to the dentist. I think it's because I felt such shame when I was a kid if I had a cavity. I always felt the dentist was judging me, like, "You don't listen to me? Fine! I won't even tell you what to do with your filthy, cavity filled mouth!" (Dentist flips instrument-filled tray over and storms out of the room).
However, whenever I would go to the dentist and he told me I was cavity free, I left with a feeling of euphoria like no other. I always had this feeling like "Wow. I'm going to change my brushing life now." I swore to the world that I would be a great flosser and even brush three times a day! That's lasted until I flipped the radio on in the car. See you in a year, stupid dentist. I mean, every six months? What a scam. I might as well get my oil changed every 3,000 miles.
Good post. I should probably make an appointment now that I'm thinking about it.
Posted by Marcus | November 7, 2007 2:47 PM
Posted on November 7, 2007 14:47